No, Finn, please, this isn't your fault, it's mine. I don't... y'know. Talk about it a lot, so it's easy to get worked up when I finally do.
[ he laughs a little, the sound wet as he wipes at his eyes with his hands. when they don't suffice he pulls up the hem of his shirt and uses that instead, shaking his head as he does. crying in front of his crush. he's really selling himself as a good catch, here. ]
It might be easier if they did hate me. At least I'd know where I stand.
[ yuri sighs and drops his shirt again after drying his hands, finally reaching out to just... gently cup finn's face in them. he smiles through the lingering tears, eyes pink enough to match his hair and he can only hope that the longing he feels in his chest isn't caught in his gaze. ]
( there it is, those little touches that have finn so skittish most of the time. but with yuri crying and being so honest, he doesn't feel the urge to pull away from him this time around. )
I don't want you to end the night feeling this sad, Yuri. ( finn's suddenly gently curling his hand around yuri's wrist, giving it a squeeze. his eyes are wide, searching his face for some kind of sign that he's feeling better. )
It's good to talk about your feelings. Keeping it inside isn't good for you. I'm - I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I wish I could help you somehow!
Well, let's find out. You can either make it a whole lot better or a whole lot worse and-- fuck, Finn, please be honest with me when I tell you this, okay? Not that I don't trust you to, but I'm not sure how much of a people pleaser you are.
[ his hands fall away from finn's face to curl in his lap instead because truth be told if he doesn't do this now yuri is almost certain he will never have the courage to be open and forthright with finn like this again.
he sucks in a slow breath and lets it out, eyes closing for a moment before he nods. ]
Tonight, this person I've been talking about. It... it's you, Finn. It's been you. For a while.
( oh. finn swallows, rooted in the spot where he has knelt. his hands fall to his sides before he begins wringing them around each other. )
Oh, Yuri, I don't know if I could live with the fact that I've made you so sad. I'm so sorry!
( now to begin processing the information that a rockstar – and friend – has a crush on him. that yuri of all people has feelings for him. he seems to have an out of body experience, feeling as if he is watching his own body sit pathetically still as he gapes at him. )
I - I don't know what to say. I thought... I thought there were all those people....
( not quite a fairy tale. but he does appreciate the honesty. )
[ yes. there were all those people. yuri lets out a laugh, sad and bitter, and he shakes his head even as he runs a hand over his face. he's not going to start crying again, he refuses.
(he'll probably start crying again.) ]
One night stands, the lot of them. I didn't-- there were never any feelings there. Maybe I've been leaning too much into the rockstar lifestyle.
[ he plays with his fingers and gnaws on his bottom lip as he stares down at the ground. it's almost ridiculous, having this conversation while sitting on a swing in some random park. ]
I'm not-- [ see? fuck, there are the tears again. not as hard or flowing as before, but welling up in the corners of his eyes. he tilts his head back and blinks, trying to get them to go away. ] --I'm not the type of person that should be by your side. No one thinks so. I don't even think so. But I just... y'know. Thought you should know.
( finn wants to cry too by simply watching yuri break down in front of him. his own eyes turn glassy and he blinks away the tears for now. he would never judge anyone for living life on their terms, but ... admittedly the past gives him some pause.
he reaches for yuri's hand, squeezing it. )
I think I can decide who I should he with, ( finn murmurs, sad that everyone else's protectiveness has turned yuri into this. )
I do like you, Yuri. It's just — it's a lot for me. All of this. I just — ( he isn’t turning him down, but with the way finn furrows his brow, it isn't a vote of confidence either. and he feels terrible about it. )
Thank you, for liking me, though. I never thought in a million years...
Yeah. Yeah, trust me, I know. I never... thought I'd like anyone, honestly. And if I did, I didn't...
[ he laughs again but this time there's actual amusement. yuri brings his head back down and smiles faintly at finn as his hand gets squeezed. ]
In all of the fantasies I had growing up about who I'd want to be with, someone who was good and sweet and pure was not in the cards which... I guess actually probably says more about me than it should. But then... you were there. And I kept wanting you to be there.
[ yuri shakes his head and lets out a sharp exhale before rubbing his hands on his legs. he stands up with a firm nod. ]
I could use ice cream. There's gotta be a 7-11 or something around here that we can find something.
[ because if he just ignores the fact that finn now knows where yuri stands and is apparently? mulling it over?? and distracts himself with other things then it won't hurt him as bad when he's eventually turned down, right? right. that's definitely how it works. ]
(and i kept wanting you to be there. finn almost gasps at that, so stunned by yuri's earnest confession. he's dumbfounded, honestly, so unable to wrap his head around the fact that this gorgeous guy has been pining over him this entire time. it should be thrilling, but it's kind of ... nervewracking.
he thought he had a good sense of the type of guy he was - cool, confident, sensual. but it turns out finn doesn't know yuri at all and that only serves to spark his curiosity about him. )
There's one six blocks away, ( finn says automatically instead. curse his love of treats. he pushes himself up off the ground and brushes off his dusty knees. well, they may as well talk over ice cream instead of crying on the swing set. )
[ yuri pauses for a moment and just stares at finn in silence before he cracks, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he starts laughing. his other arm wraps around his stomach to hold it as he giggles helplessly because of course finn would know exactly where to find some treats. ]
Well, I'm willing to make the journey if you are.
[ it's a small hike there and back but... well, yuri's not going to complain about getting to spend the time with finn. the fact that he hasn't just turned tail and gone back to the hotel already is a good sign and yuri's going to hold on to that.
he pauses for a second, mid-stride to head back to the path, when he turns to finn and holds out his hand with a slight pout to his lips. ]
( he smiles, relieved yuri didn't find that insensitive. the confession still rolling around in his brain, he probably needs some ice cream too. )
Sure.
( after staring at his hand for a bit too long, he gingerly takes his hand again. maybe it's misleading for now, but finn also just wants to be a good friend. ) I can definitely do that.
[ for what it's worth, yuri isn't making any assumptions about where they stand right now. in fact, he's going for the "prepare for the worst but hope for the best" approach where he just assumes that this is going to end with them staying on friendly terms and nothing more. at least then he won't come crashing back to the earth when it happens.
he's still happy with the hand-holding. he smiles a little bit and squeezes finn's hand and nods before gesturing back down the path. ]
Come on. I've been told you can tell a lot about a person based on what kind of ice cream they like to go for.
[ he grins and starts walking, lightly swinging their joined hands between them. ]
( this feels nice and easy, swinging their hands between them. it makes it easier for finn to imagine what could be between them, without the tears and the fear of disappointing yuri because he just doesn't have the experience to match his.
he tries to keep the conversation light and easy as they make the short trek towards their late-night relief. it's certainly helped to break the tension. )
I have a lot of ice cream favorites. There is a late night cookie place I like to order from especially if my dad and I are having a late night.
[ yuri gasps softly and goes ooo at the thought of having some late night cookies delivered. he hums and tilts his head a bit, his free hand coming up to lightly tap at his chin. ]
Raspberry chocolate chip. And if it's white chocolate? Heaven.
[ he laughs and looks to his side, eyes going up and down finn really quick. ]
You really do like sweets, huh? Sweets and nature. I'll have to learn your favorites. And don't just tell me! That's cheating.
[ yuri you literally just told him your favorite cookie flavor. ]
( that– that would be nice. yuri leaning his favorites. it's intimate in a way that finn appreciates. he nods, blushing lightly, the tips of his ears growing red in the dark. )
I love sweets. I love healthy things like fruits too, but I just really ... like ending my day on something sugary. Just a little thing! Like a bow on a present. ( he shrugs a little as if sheepish at his admission. ) Even on difficult days, dessert always makes them a little better.
[ he could think of a couple things, one of which he's not going to say out loud, and the other... well. he's holding its hand right now. but yuri thinks on it just a little more before a sappy little smile pops up on his face. ]
Don't you dare tell them this but... the guys. Just-- honestly, no matter how shitty of a day I'm having, even if it's because of them, they still make it better just by being there.
[ yuri laughs and presses his free hand against his face in embarrassment. ]
We're a weird, fucked up little family, but it's my weird, fucked up little and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
[ he pulls his hand away and looks sideways toward finn, the corner of his lip curled upward. ]
And that includes you and Jisoo, in case you think it doesn't.
( finn drops his voice to a whisper, lightly lisping as he replies, ) Oh, I swear I won't tell.
( the response is unexpected but yuri seems to be full of surprises for finn today. the admission that he is family somehow makes him feel even more fluttery inside, even as both hands hang limply at his sides. )
It's really come together all accidentally, huh? This group of people? ( the web they've woven together spreads pretty far at this point and finn can't help but feel pleased. )
You know a guy who knows a guy and suddenly you're touring the country in a rock band.
[ yuri laughs, just as flabbergasted as finn probably feels about the whole thing, and the moment they reach the edge of the park he releases finn's hand as promised. his own go back into his pockets again as they hit the sidewalk and head in the direction of what he sincerely hopes is ice cream. ]
I know you kinda wound up here on a whim but... what would you be doing? If you weren't here, I mean.
( finn shrugs. he knows he should be thinking about his life in the long run but... ) I think Jisoo and I would be happy working at her family's ice cream shop for years. I dunno what I would've been doing, honestly. Maybe that and helping my dad. ( they realized early on that finn did not have a knack for actual landscaping labor of any sort, but finn could mow a lawn here and there. ) Jisoo, she'll probably want to return in the future to run the whole business much later on.
( speaking of, there is a tiny 7-11 sign in the distance and he points excitedly. )
That's... really cute. The two of you really are best friends.
[ yuri senses his actual greatest hurdle in pursuing finn is, in fact, also going to be his manager, so that could become an issue at some point. he's going to have to start buttering her up.
subtlely.
no, she'll see through him immediately, but he kinda wants to anyway.
his face lights up and excuse him if he jogs the last half a block to get to the store. he throws the door open (and holds it open long enough for finn to join him) before he makes his way straight over to the little ice cream freezer to peruse the options. ]
Very important question: mint chocolate chip, yes or no? Not right now or anything, just in general.
( whatever he thought was going to happen tonight, ending up here after a crush confession was not it. but finn can't deny the joy he feels upon skittering through the convenience store and finding that freezer-burned fridge with all those treats waiting for them.
he gives the selection a discerning glance-over. yes, this will do quite nicely. if he gets a little box of ice pops, jisoo won't be upset he went and got treats without her. )
Oh, I don't discriminate against any flavors. What's not to like about mint choco! ( finn beams, dimples on display.
... meanwhile, he's reaching for the moose tracks. )
It's a very heated topic of discussion! I'm neutral, personally; I won't go out of my way for it, but if someone is offering me some I'll gladly eat it.
[ he's grabbing the chocolate cherry pint, himself, and he steps away from the freezer door to let it fall closed again. yuri grins and proceeds to wander up and down the aisles, drumming his fingers on the top of the ice cream as he looks for something else he could maybe take back to the hotel with him. cheaper than buying from their convenience in the lobby.
minutes later and he's making his way up to the register with... more than he should have probably grabbed but he's feeling some type of way tonight and he's going to need the comfort. some energy drinks (for tomorrow), gatorade (for tonight), chips, a candy bar...
leave him alone. ]
Were you grabbing anything else, Finn? Put it up here.
( he's busy browsing, his own room decently stocked with both he and jisoo frequently bringing back food. but at yuri's offer, he brightens and scurries around the corner to get a pack of large, soft chocolate chip cookies. )
We - ah, if you want - we can make ice cream sandwiches with these.
( finn looks proud of himself for that. it seems wrong to end the evening on this note, an uncertain one of not sour. he knows he's left yuri hanging, even if yuri had been the one to suggest they make an ice cream run.
it's given him a lot to mull over and he just hopes yuri won't take it against him for not replying right away. finn is always slow in his responses, wanting to think things through first. it wouldn't feel right to just say something to appease him. they are friends, after all, even if finn had been skittish around him in the past. )
I know this wasn't the funnest night, but I hope ice cream makes it a little better.
[ yuri's eyes dance over everything as they load up the counter, the man standing behind it looking like he would rather be literally anywhere else other than where he is right now. spoons get added to the bag as everything gets bundled up and yuri hands over his card to pay before finn has a chance to protest.
he waits until they get back outside again to say anything else and moves toward the bench outside of the store to sit, the bag on the bench beside him. ]
For what it's worth, Finn... I wouldn't take back anything I did or said tonight. Maybe I'd do it differently but... well. You were right when you said that it's important that the truth gets out there.
( finn quietly reaches into the bag, tagging the pack of cookies and yuri's tub of ice cream first before taking the seat next to him. it's a bit more involved than it should be for a midnight snack outside, but he begins dutifully balancing the cookie box on his lap and carefully spooning the chocolate cherry onto a cookie. he doesn't pack as much as they would at a professional place, just enough to sate the thirst for something sweet.
[ yuri just watches him in silence, a little smile playing across his face as finn very carefully and expertly creates a treat just for him. he pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of it before he takes it from finn's hand with a grateful nod. ]
Finnigan, I think this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. Literally.
[ a wider smile, even a small laugh, before he brings the treat up to his lips to take a bite.
yeah. yeah, ice cream helps. ]
I'm going to need you to do me one small favor: please make sure Jisoo doesn't end my existence after you tell her. Because I know you will, and it's okay if you do, but... y'know. She's an incredibly terrifying mama bear when she wants to be.
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merrilywe2023-05-24 11:35 pm
no subject
[ he laughs a little, the sound wet as he wipes at his eyes with his hands. when they don't suffice he pulls up the hem of his shirt and uses that instead, shaking his head as he does. crying in front of his crush. he's really selling himself as a good catch, here. ]
It might be easier if they did hate me. At least I'd know where I stand.
[ yuri sighs and drops his shirt again after drying his hands, finally reaching out to just... gently cup finn's face in them. he smiles through the lingering tears, eyes pink enough to match his hair and he can only hope that the longing he feels in his chest isn't caught in his gaze. ]
You're so sweet.
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I don't want you to end the night feeling this sad, Yuri. ( finn's suddenly gently curling his hand around yuri's wrist, giving it a squeeze. his eyes are wide, searching his face for some kind of sign that he's feeling better. )
It's good to talk about your feelings. Keeping it inside isn't good for you. I'm - I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I wish I could help you somehow!
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[ his hands fall away from finn's face to curl in his lap instead because truth be told if he doesn't do this now yuri is almost certain he will never have the courage to be open and forthright with finn like this again.
he sucks in a slow breath and lets it out, eyes closing for a moment before he nods. ]
Tonight, this person I've been talking about. It... it's you, Finn. It's been you. For a while.
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Oh, Yuri, I don't know if I could live with the fact that I've made you so sad. I'm so sorry!
( now to begin processing the information that a rockstar – and friend – has a crush on him. that yuri of all people has feelings for him. he seems to have an out of body experience, feeling as if he is watching his own body sit pathetically still as he gapes at him. )
I - I don't know what to say. I thought... I thought there were all those people....
( not quite a fairy tale. but he does appreciate the honesty. )
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(he'll probably start crying again.) ]
One night stands, the lot of them. I didn't-- there were never any feelings there. Maybe I've been leaning too much into the rockstar lifestyle.
[ he plays with his fingers and gnaws on his bottom lip as he stares down at the ground. it's almost ridiculous, having this conversation while sitting on a swing in some random park. ]
I'm not-- [ see? fuck, there are the tears again. not as hard or flowing as before, but welling up in the corners of his eyes. he tilts his head back and blinks, trying to get them to go away. ] --I'm not the type of person that should be by your side. No one thinks so. I don't even think so. But I just... y'know. Thought you should know.
no subject
he reaches for yuri's hand, squeezing it. )
I think I can decide who I should he with, ( finn murmurs, sad that everyone else's protectiveness has turned yuri into this. )
I do like you, Yuri. It's just — it's a lot for me. All of this. I just — ( he isn’t turning him down, but with the way finn furrows his brow, it isn't a vote of confidence either. and he feels terrible about it. )
Thank you, for liking me, though. I never thought in a million years...
no subject
[ he laughs again but this time there's actual amusement. yuri brings his head back down and smiles faintly at finn as his hand gets squeezed. ]
In all of the fantasies I had growing up about who I'd want to be with, someone who was good and sweet and pure was not in the cards which... I guess actually probably says more about me than it should. But then... you were there. And I kept wanting you to be there.
[ yuri shakes his head and lets out a sharp exhale before rubbing his hands on his legs. he stands up with a firm nod. ]
I could use ice cream. There's gotta be a 7-11 or something around here that we can find something.
[ because if he just ignores the fact that finn now knows where yuri stands and is apparently? mulling it over?? and distracts himself with other things then it won't hurt him as bad when he's eventually turned down, right? right. that's definitely how it works. ]
no subject
he thought he had a good sense of the type of guy he was - cool, confident, sensual. but it turns out finn doesn't know yuri at all and that only serves to spark his curiosity about him. )
There's one six blocks away, ( finn says automatically instead. curse his love of treats. he pushes himself up off the ground and brushes off his dusty knees. well, they may as well talk over ice cream instead of crying on the swing set. )
no subject
[ yuri pauses for a moment and just stares at finn in silence before he cracks, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he starts laughing. his other arm wraps around his stomach to hold it as he giggles helplessly because of course finn would know exactly where to find some treats. ]
Well, I'm willing to make the journey if you are.
[ it's a small hike there and back but... well, yuri's not going to complain about getting to spend the time with finn. the fact that he hasn't just turned tail and gone back to the hotel already is a good sign and yuri's going to hold on to that.
he pauses for a second, mid-stride to head back to the path, when he turns to finn and holds out his hand with a slight pout to his lips. ]
Just until we leave the park?
no subject
Sure.
( after staring at his hand for a bit too long, he gingerly takes his hand again. maybe it's misleading for now, but finn also just wants to be a good friend. ) I can definitely do that.
no subject
he's still happy with the hand-holding. he smiles a little bit and squeezes finn's hand and nods before gesturing back down the path. ]
Come on. I've been told you can tell a lot about a person based on what kind of ice cream they like to go for.
[ he grins and starts walking, lightly swinging their joined hands between them. ]
no subject
he tries to keep the conversation light and easy as they make the short trek towards their late-night relief. it's certainly helped to break the tension. )
I have a lot of ice cream favorites. There is a late night cookie place I like to order from especially if my dad and I are having a late night.
no subject
Raspberry chocolate chip. And if it's white chocolate? Heaven.
[ he laughs and looks to his side, eyes going up and down finn really quick. ]
You really do like sweets, huh? Sweets and nature. I'll have to learn your favorites. And don't just tell me! That's cheating.
[ yuri you literally just told him your favorite cookie flavor. ]
no subject
I love sweets. I love healthy things like fruits too, but I just really ... like ending my day on something sugary. Just a little thing! Like a bow on a present. ( he shrugs a little as if sheepish at his admission. ) Even on difficult days, dessert always makes them a little better.
( he cants his head in yuri's direction. )
Don't you have something like that?
no subject
[ he could think of a couple things, one of which he's not going to say out loud, and the other... well. he's holding its hand right now. but yuri thinks on it just a little more before a sappy little smile pops up on his face. ]
Don't you dare tell them this but... the guys. Just-- honestly, no matter how shitty of a day I'm having, even if it's because of them, they still make it better just by being there.
[ yuri laughs and presses his free hand against his face in embarrassment. ]
We're a weird, fucked up little family, but it's my weird, fucked up little and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.
[ he pulls his hand away and looks sideways toward finn, the corner of his lip curled upward. ]
And that includes you and Jisoo, in case you think it doesn't.
no subject
( the response is unexpected but yuri seems to be full of surprises for finn today. the admission that he is family somehow makes him feel even more fluttery inside, even as both hands hang limply at his sides. )
It's really come together all accidentally, huh? This group of people? ( the web they've woven together spreads pretty far at this point and finn can't help but feel pleased. )
no subject
[ yuri laughs, just as flabbergasted as finn probably feels about the whole thing, and the moment they reach the edge of the park he releases finn's hand as promised. his own go back into his pockets again as they hit the sidewalk and head in the direction of what he sincerely hopes is ice cream. ]
I know you kinda wound up here on a whim but... what would you be doing? If you weren't here, I mean.
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( speaking of, there is a tiny 7-11 sign in the distance and he points excitedly. )
There it is!
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[ yuri senses his actual greatest hurdle in pursuing finn is, in fact, also going to be his manager, so that could become an issue at some point. he's going to have to start buttering her up.
subtlely.
no, she'll see through him immediately, but he kinda wants to anyway.
his face lights up and excuse him if he jogs the last half a block to get to the store. he throws the door open (and holds it open long enough for finn to join him) before he makes his way straight over to the little ice cream freezer to peruse the options. ]
Very important question: mint chocolate chip, yes or no? Not right now or anything, just in general.
no subject
he gives the selection a discerning glance-over. yes, this will do quite nicely. if he gets a little box of ice pops, jisoo won't be upset he went and got treats without her. )
Oh, I don't discriminate against any flavors. What's not to like about mint choco! ( finn beams, dimples on display.
... meanwhile, he's reaching for the moose tracks. )
no subject
[ he's grabbing the chocolate cherry pint, himself, and he steps away from the freezer door to let it fall closed again. yuri grins and proceeds to wander up and down the aisles, drumming his fingers on the top of the ice cream as he looks for something else he could maybe take back to the hotel with him. cheaper than buying from their convenience in the lobby.
minutes later and he's making his way up to the register with... more than he should have probably grabbed but he's feeling some type of way tonight and he's going to need the comfort. some energy drinks (for tomorrow), gatorade (for tonight), chips, a candy bar...
leave him alone. ]
Were you grabbing anything else, Finn? Put it up here.
no subject
We - ah, if you want - we can make ice cream sandwiches with these.
( finn looks proud of himself for that. it seems wrong to end the evening on this note, an uncertain one of not sour. he knows he's left yuri hanging, even if yuri had been the one to suggest they make an ice cream run.
it's given him a lot to mull over and he just hopes yuri won't take it against him for not replying right away. finn is always slow in his responses, wanting to think things through first. it wouldn't feel right to just say something to appease him. they are friends, after all, even if finn had been skittish around him in the past. )
I know this wasn't the funnest night, but I hope ice cream makes it a little better.
no subject
[ yuri's eyes dance over everything as they load up the counter, the man standing behind it looking like he would rather be literally anywhere else other than where he is right now. spoons get added to the bag as everything gets bundled up and yuri hands over his card to pay before finn has a chance to protest.
he waits until they get back outside again to say anything else and moves toward the bench outside of the store to sit, the bag on the bench beside him. ]
For what it's worth, Finn... I wouldn't take back anything I did or said tonight. Maybe I'd do it differently but... well. You were right when you said that it's important that the truth gets out there.
no subject
( finn quietly reaches into the bag, tagging the pack of cookies and yuri's tub of ice cream first before taking the seat next to him. it's a bit more involved than it should be for a midnight snack outside, but he begins dutifully balancing the cookie box on his lap and carefully spooning the chocolate cherry onto a cookie. he doesn't pack as much as they would at a professional place, just enough to sate the thirst for something sweet.
he presents it to him with a dimpled smile. )
For you.
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Finnigan, I think this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. Literally.
[ a wider smile, even a small laugh, before he brings the treat up to his lips to take a bite.
yeah. yeah, ice cream helps. ]
I'm going to need you to do me one small favor: please make sure Jisoo doesn't end my existence after you tell her. Because I know you will, and it's okay if you do, but... y'know. She's an incredibly terrifying mama bear when she wants to be.
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